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(in pencil) 39
Newport, July 27th
'84
Dear Jervy
Your very interesting letter of June 23rd has often been before me on the desk but my intention to answer it has invariably been thwarted, until I began to despair of an opportunity, or the proper mood for even a simple acknowledgement of it and a dozen others that have reproachfully glared at me daily for the past few weeks. -- I cannot recall any of the circumstances that you relate, but they are very interesting & carry me back to times when I had high hopes for my profefsion: hopes that are
gone as completely as is the theatre which was their offspring. Somehow I have felt a gradual 'going' after the magnificent folly on which those hopes were centered, and I work on without any particular object now. I try not to permit a particle of regret or despondency to disturb me, but whenever I think of bracing up for a fresh start advancing age reminds me that I have not sufficient time for the accomplishment of anything, & so drift along in a sort rut at a jog-trot, donkey pace. -- A few days ago Eastman & his brother, Cap't Johnson, of the training ship, at Newport station, came in upon us at dinner, but would not stop long. The Cap't kindly sent me a naval officer's hammock for my piazza & I called on him with Dr. Martin, a friend of
his and mine, but only his wife, a Spanish lady, & the children, were on board. A day or two after their visit who should drive in but Whittredge, with a cousin -- who owns a farm some few miles up the coast. These little surprises are very pleasant. We have had an Autumn day & now, at night, a great storm is on us -- yet we have no fire. Thus far (3 weeks) our weather has been delightful for sailing & driving -- the place is very beautiful, but oh, the cost of it! This place & the Boston house have been a fearful pull on me, & my expenses have increased infernally, while my income has decreased correspondingly. My European tours were 'antjos" and my lofs of time & brief engagements last year, together with a [illegible mark] 20.000 Villard 'pop' in O&T. stock, all these have combined to squeeze me somewhat.
I have been unable to afsist several friends that called on me -- an experience new & very unpleasant. I never meant to ask for anything due me, but, to be frank with you, Bowyer's dealing's with me have not been altogether of the most satisfactory kind -- from the start, & therefore I reminded him of his overdue note. After a while he designed to acknowledge my letter & promised payment "in a week" (if I remember rightly), but since the change in his businefs relative silence has again settled on him. I require the amount to help pay a debt double the sum I loaned him -- else I sh'd not have disturbed him, indeed I would not have done so at all had I been entirely satisfied with him. But this must not worry you -- I'll be hard pushed indeed before I cause you any distrefs in a financial way & hope I never shall in any other. I do not want to push Bowyer, but
his cavilier indifference (for such it seems) will compel me to place the note in legal hands for collection. I've written this in response to your remarks anent my lacking money. It must not trouble you. Had I not indulged so largely in luxuries & had worked harder the past year or two I would not have been aware of any difference in my bank account. It seems very sad to part with your doubly dear old home & I think it would be an added pang to live so near it, as you suggest, and know it belonged to others. What a miserable mockery is the happiest and longest life! We must look back through tears even at the joys that once were ours. The indifferent, self-satisfied ass seems, after all, to have the best of the game. -- I hope to 'loaf' here 'till October; I do not begin work 'till Novr 17th & play but 14 weeks during the season, but if I live
the following year must be one of hard work & tedious travel; 'tis too late now to change my present plan.
I hope you and all the family are well. If you see or write to Bowyer you may, if you see fit, remind him of me, but let nothing I've said cause you the least annoyance.
I have hired an oyster boat & go sailing occafsionally, my jack-of-all trades is a sailor, carpenter, painter & farmer, consequently I am well provided for sailing & odd jobs about the place. I must be near my second childhood for I've but just learned to swim!
Ever yours affectionately
Edwin
Box 555
(pencil notation) July 27 [1884 ?]